Academic Horrors!
With classes back in full swing, what better time to revisit the genre classics that prove once and for all that scholastic scares will never go out of style in the cinematic medium?
“Kit-Kat” Kristen and “Jazzy” James relive some of the most terrifying, education-themed horror movies of all-time, from flicks focused on telekinetic teens to VHS-era favorites centered around alien-possessed biology teachers!
By: James Swift
Let’s face it, having to relive our high school years would be a nightmare come true for most of us. The awkwardness, the acne, the algebra — throw in all the unannounced trigonometry quizzes and nighttime driving restrictions and you’ve got a scarier set of circumstances than a double date with Leatherface and Hannibal Lecter.
Perhaps that’s why so many beloved horror classics — as well as a number of lesser-seen and lesser-acknowledged genre offerings — take full advantage of the intrinsic creepiness of the classroom and the innate horrendousness of the hallway. From elementary school playgrounds to the sororities and fraternities of college campuses, our vestibules of education seem to be a perfect fit for all sorts of spooky and scary shenanigans, and few films prove that theorem accurate quite like the ten movies discussed by Uncommon Journalism’s James Swift and Kristen M. Gilotti. From early 80s’ hokum like Final Exam to unparalleled ‘70s classics like Carrie, “Jazzy” James and “Kit-Kat” Kristen exchange class notes on such obvious test material as:
— Which Goosebumps novel reigns supreme in the expanded R.L. Stein literary universe?
— What’s the biggest difference between Let Me In and Let The Right One In (and how do both movies make some VERY big changes to the book written by John Lindqvist?)
— If Christine was remade today, would it be a demonically-possessed Uber ride?
— What’s the one thing keeping Kristen from enjoying The Craft as the unalloyed mid-90s cult classic it is?
— What was A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge REALLY trying to say about adolescent development?
— Of all the accolades awarded to Scream, what’s the one aspect of the movie seemingly no one ever brings up (that they totally should, like, for sure?)
— And, perhaps most importantly of all: how exactly do you condense the title “Fresh Faces’ Frightening Fun Facts?” into ONE social media hashtag?
Oh, and one more thing: thanks to the power of Skype, this latest edition of the recurring Uncommon Journalism feature comes to you in VODCAST form, so now you can actually watch Kristen’s remarkable Piper Laurie impersonation with your own peepers. And not to give anything away, but don’t be surprised if you see a cameo appearance or two by a certain, iconic ventriloquist’s dummy … dummy.
And as always, feel free to download the podcast in MP3 form anytime you want at the link below — that is, if you’re not too chicken ...
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